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Tuesday, 5 March 2013

LARRY ASEGO Hilarious LETTER to the IEBC...


 :::Larry Asego:::

Plot 16 Kamitii Meating
Agenda 1. IEBC Clerks Reflector Jackets kwa pulot
Agenda 2. Mama Kanyonyo new Basin
Agenda 3. Spoilt Votes
AOB

Dear Pulot member, it was discussed in the meating that there are some of us who have refused to surrender the IEBC reflector jackets. All Observers have been asked to hand them over to Omondi the watchman, because IEBC officials onasumbua sisi kwa gate. Especially tenant house number thirii. Hiyo ndiyo omegeuka suwag yawa! Owesi vaa hiyo jacket kama vest ya kuenda disco. Please return the refwhat, reflector jawhat, jacket. Members nodded in agreement

Agenda 2. Mama Kanyonyo has a new basin kando imeandikwa Women's Reprewhat, representative. Mama Kanyonyo, how did you get hold of hiyo ballot box na unaosea nguo kwa pulot? Polis otakuja ochukue sisi yote. We have notified officials ya IEBC they will collect it leo jiwhat, jioni. Members agreed to contribute something per each, onunulie mama Kanyonyo basin mupya when Nakumatt rewhat, reopens on Wedwhat, wednesday. Members sought to find the wherebouts of Mr. Kanyonyo na yeye bado iko campaign trail omekwama isiolo after being left behind by the campaign bus. Members laughed at Mr. Kanyoyo khikhikhikhikhiiii.

Agenda thirii.
IEBC has released report stating that pulot 16 votes yote iko spowhat, spoilt. They have decided that they will send officials every week for the next 5 years to prepare us for kura ya 2017. Apparently most of us were writing names, goodwill messages and putting X on all boxes and tick on one. Only chairmandwa i.e myself has not spoilt a vowhat, vote. They will reward me when they come with a surprise. Members clapped for me in admiration. PS if pulot members also want to reward me kando kando please mafuta ya kopika omeisa na sukari pia hakuna.

AOB
It has come to our attenson that Mr. Juma anakesa kwa nyumba ya Mrs kanyonyo in the name of watching and debating the results as they triwhat trickle in. In the absence of Mr Kanyonyo ule iko Isiolo, members wondered why Mrs Kanyonyo was doing so. It was agreed that Mrs kanyonyo awache mulango wasi the whole night and Omondi the watchman to constantly peep through the window to verify mbona volume ya results iko too loud. Members pointed accusingly at Mr. Juma wondering if all Mrs Kanyonyo's kids yeye ndio baba yao.

There being no other business the meating was adwht, adjourned. Members agreed to meet at Miss Susie's house tuangalie poll results. Eeee Miss Suuuuwhat, suuusiiiiee. Our wives refused that proposal. So kila mutu aone kwa nyumba yake. Kama hakuna telebisen, sikia kwa redio jambo.

Chairman Bring Kanyonyo back home Kamitee
Act before you are acted upon.
 
 
 
 

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