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Friday, 8 March 2013

HOW TO RIG AND "WIN" AN ELECTION IN KENYA...


1. Ensure an election body is so hopelessly weak that it cannot even
procure the basic election equipment without the intervention
of the government.

2. Once procured, all the equipment spectacularly fails on election day
forcing it to resort to manual registers.

3. The electronic live streaming of the results crashes on Day 2 of
national tallying. Assure citizens that it just crashed due to overload, oh,
by the way the spoilt votes were being multiplied by a factor of 8,
but don't worry all the valid votes did not get affected.

4. Some candidates have concerns about the figures being tallied from
some constituencies, but when they raise them, kick them out of the
tallying centre.

5. When some candidates try to raise their concerns through the
media, they cannot be reported live for the sake of peace.

6. Make 'peace' the defining issue of this election and saturate the
airwaves with messages of peace to remind Kenyans that they should
not misbehave like the last time.

7. On Day 5 (Friday), belatedly acknowledge that the results already
announced have 'some discrepancies' and will be audited before a final result being declared. But continue announcing the new results as they come.

8. Despite promising the formal announcement on Saturday at 11
a.m., and since you are continuing to post new results on your board, one candidate eventually passes the 50% mark and the private (peace) media decides we have elected our 4th president (notwithstanding we don't know the result of the audit).
9. Meanwhile, the public broadcaster (KBC) plays it safe and continue showing us what's happening in the rest of the world through BBC (at least they haven't
started playing peace songs or marshal music).

10. Announce formal results at 11 a.m. as promised, by which time,
one wonders whether you have what it takes to reverse all of the above,
even if you confirmed your discrepancies in the audit you promised last night...
Courtesy of Facebbok..

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