1. Ensure an election body is sohopelessly weak that it
cannot even
procure the basic electionequipment without the intervention of the government.
2. Once procured, all the
equipmentspectacularly
fails on election day forcing it to resort to manualregisters.
3. The electronic live streaming
ofthe
results crashes on Day 2 of national tallying. Assure citizens thatit just crashed due to overload, oh, by the way the spoilt votes werebeing multiplied by a factor of 8, but don't worry all the valid votesdid not get affected.
4. Some candidates have concernsabout the figures being
tallied from some constituencies, but when theyraise them, kick them out of the tallying centre.
5. When some candidates try toraise their concerns
through the media, they cannot be reported livefor the sake of peace.
6. Make 'peace' the defining
issue ofthis
election and saturate the airwaves with messages of peace toremind Kenyans that they should not misbehave like the last time.
7. On Day 5 (Friday), belatedlyacknowledge that the
results already announced have 'somediscrepancies' and will be auditedbefore a final result being declared.But continue announcing the newresults as they come.
8. Despite promising the formalannouncement on
Saturday at 11 a.m., and since you are continuingto post new results on your board,one candidate eventually passes the50% mark and the private (peace)media decides we have elected our4th president (notwithstanding wedon't know the result of the audit).
9. Meanwhile, the publicbroadcaster (KBC) plays
it safe andcontinue showing us what'shappening in the rest of the worldthrough BBC (at least they haven't started playing peace songs ormarshal music).
10. Announce formal results at 11a.m. as promised, by
which time, one wonders whether you have whatit takes to reverse all of the above, even if you confirmed yourdiscrepancies in the audit youpromised last night...
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